You title it.

I've made wrong decisions before, but never realized it until it was too late. I don't think I can wait, but it did always seem as if the answer to this question would be told by fate. The silence is the worst part of it all, because that's when you think. That's when the thinkings that you kind of sort of wanted to forget, resurface and then follows regret holding hands with sorrow, laughing at your blunder that you won't ever be able to take back. Unless of course, it really was meant to be, then you get a second chance that not many receive. But maybe by then you wont want to believe that it was you and not her that fucked up. You need to slow down the tempo, and stay focused the room may start spinning but don't throw up. Then again, no one ever knows the answers to the future, whether it's a good mistake or a bad one, people say as you get older, you learn from your mistakes, well I've learned to make them in different ways, variations, and equations. I just change the variable and solve it using the wrong methods. Fuck, I don't know where this is going, I'm just writing as I go along. Add to the fact I've already lost many hours of sleep, contemplating about this, just wish I could close my eyes and have the answer come to me. If I had the Green lanterns ring, then I could just Will it to be. Even then I wouldn't know exactly what it would be, Yes or No? Maybe but even so, no concrete %100 percent, on the dollar answer. I'd probably backfire on myself, and create a blackhole that would swallow me up whole, that would be one way to solve this problem, who knows I guess I just got to wait and see, if it really was meant to be.

Ode to my followed-people? Idk what to call it

I've come to notice the good stuff only comes when i'm feeling down or things aren't really going my way, and eso no es muy bueno. I feel like I've got to find another way to make myself write some good stuff! Besides that and that I'm trying (kind of) hard in school to be good, blogging's kind of taken the back burner right now...man the only way i'll start writing more stuff is if I get people that are actually reading and commenting on it to say to keep writing. Other than that, absolutely noooo motivation! lol though the people I follow right now, I do actually read your blogs, it's always interesting to me to read about how other people are feeling, and dealing with life, whether it's through poems, or just free writing. Especially if I can offer some type of insight to their words. Well, it's late and I'm all out of Sake, gonna go to sleep and try and hit the gym eaaaarrrly manana. But to my bloggers, keep it coming! I'll keep reading and commenting.

Everyday!

I just came to the realization that this semester my days have been like a washing machine cycle everyday the same. Wash, rinse, dry! Replace those words and you got my day. Class, Gym, Work lmao. Fuck curiosity, it was procrastination that killed the cat. And im procrastinating like a mofo! ah...let me get back to studying!

C.R.E.A.M.

Ahhh one of my favorite acronyms next to HNIC and NWA. But this post isn't about hip hop acronyms lol, C.ash R.ules E.verything A.round M.e seems to apply to a lot of people. I feel that it's so true in many cases, like if I had money I would take care of these things in a heart beat, and when I say have money, I mean like I hit the lotto or something and get A LOT of green

First thing's first!

• Pay off all my mom's bills, then make sure she's set for life in DR, get her that nice beach house!
  
• Pay off all my bills (and my girls bills) cuz these college loans and credit cards got me stressed the fuck out lol(fuck you St John's!!)
  
• Then come all the material shit you already know...clothes, cars, and I'm not much of a jewelery man but I'm definitely getting a nice watch, you can keep all that bling, I'll stick with something simple that I like, kind of like this
  

Even after all the money situation is fixed, there's still goals that I want to accomplish that money can't buy.

Be able to run a marathon, 10k is my goal, i'll start with the little stuff for now. I'm fit right now but I'm pretty sure my stamina has dropped since I haven't been doing as much cardio as I'd like, I'm just sticking to weights a lot of the times now.
Then there's extreme shit!(kind of lol)

Sky diving! Ever since I saw Point Break I wanted to this so bad lol

Rock Climbing without ropes, well I'll work my way up to this one from regular rock climbing with ropes and stuff lol, but to climb without ropes has to be another kind of feeling, knowing that your life is literally in your hands, it's got to be a rush!

I want to go swimming with sharks. I know what you're thinking...but this is the most personal goal I would attempt to complete. I've been both frightened and amazed by sharks since I was a little boy. They are undoubtedly, my favorite animal.

Then, in a similar kind of scenario, I just want to scuba dive. I love watching documentary about the bottom of the sea and the rare creatures that have never seen the light of day, granted I wouldn't even be able to go anywhere near there but I'll take what I can get and go as far down as possible.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg, my list is limitless as to what I want to accomplish. Let's see what the future unfolds.

New Style in the horizon, Maybe?

Do you ever wonder what you will look like in the next 5 years? If I am me, and last time I checked I was, I will try to keep my body looking more or less the same. The only thing that I've been thinking about is what am I going to be wearing! As of late, as the days go by Im growing kind of tired of wearing the same stuff, and just want to switch up my style. Im tired of hearing this word from the older people (30+) at work, or in rap songs. And you can't step into one subway cart without seeing somebody wearing a pair of skinny jeans. Hi, my name is Joel and im a hipster...Ive been addicted to slim fitted jeans since about sophmore year in college and im ready for change!

I like the style don't get me wrong, its just were at the point in time where everybody is trying to be different at the same time and ends up looking just like the person next to them. Its a perpetual cycle that undoubtedly continues to feed on itself. Whatever I decide to do I just want to be comfortable with what I'm wearing. At the same time I want to look and feel good regardless of others. I tend apply the same principles to working out, because you better believe I don't do it for anybody but me, I could give two shits about what you think about my body, hate it or love it (dont get offended but its the truth).

Its the only thing I can do that I don't need anybody else involved with unless I allow them to. I wouldn't be where I am with that today if I took peoples opinions to heart about the way I look. One thing Ive asked myself though is how do you define what "looking good" is? Yes, it will vary from person to person, but the answer is quite simple, just wear what makes you, you. Reguardless of what other people think, if you like wearing a super tight shirt that has your love handles squeezing out, wear em! Some tight booty shorts that make your ass look great, accentuate those curves, if you got to wear that shirt to hide your gut, do it! We let a lot of media, and artists influence us, which isn't bad but at the same time it gives us unrealistic goals. Were people leading regular lives working, going to school, with everyday problems lol. God knows as much as i'd love to be in the gym 5 days a week, it's just not possible anymore. Hopefully I will see what the future holds for me with clothes! I am getting older, and I know for damn sure I wont be wearing these tight ass jeans into my 30's lol.